Facebook is filled with groups of moms complaining about the lack of help they get from their husbands. Either dad has never changed a diaper, he doesn’t help pick up toys, dad doesn’t help discipline, or he flat out cannot keep the kids alive if he is left alone. I understand that it can be completely frustrating to get no help from the one person that should be helping you the most, so I am going to share with you a few tips that I’ve used to encourage my husband to be a hands on dad.
How to Encourage Fathers to Become Hands On Dads
Do Not Criticize
This point is first because it is by far the most important point I am going to make in this whole post. Do not criticize your husband when he is trying, trying to play with the kids, trying to change the baby, trying to load the dishwasher, trying to fold the laundry. Even if he is doing something completely wrong by your standards, even if he is trying to feed the kids a peanut butter and skittles sandwich, do not criticize him.
I once read a magazine article about a study done on dads playing with their kids. It was discovered through the study that when dads are playing with the kids, if the mom stands near by and constantly says, ‘careful, careful, careful,’ the dad will be less and less likely to spend time playing with the kids. Criticizing best efforts is the quickest way to discourage someone from trying at all. Just remember, your way isn’t the only way something can be done. So yeah, maybe its annoying to you to have the towels folded instead of rolled, but isn’t it nice to have someone else take care of them at all?
Trust Your Baby Daddy
When I was a newbie mama and I had to leave Rusty with my precious first born, I would leave him an entire packet of instructions. Step by step directions on her nap schedule, her feeding schedule, how to warm frozen breast milk, what she should wear, how often to change her, so on and so forth. Needless to say, that got real old, real fast. So, instead of saying, ‘oh, its just too much work to leave the hubs alone with baby girl,’ I decided to just trust that he could keep her alive without any clear direction. And you know what? He did keep her alive. Imagine that.
This point leads to the same conclusion as my first point, just because dad isn’t going to do things the exact way you would, doesn’t mean he is wrong. He might forget to change the babies diaper until there is a blowout or he might serve the bottle a little cold, but so what, a little cold breast milk never hurt anyone.
Gently Force Him To Help
If you are married to a guy that doesn’t encourage you to go get a break, have a girls night out, or get a manicure in peace, then you are just going to have to make it happen for yourself. Want to know how? Just go! When you know the hubs will be home with no where to go, just leave. He will survive, the kids will survive, like I said before, trust your baby daddy. Just remember to yell, “don’t forget to feed the kids,” before the door slams behind you. He might huff and puff a little bit about it, but just reward him for his effort in a way that your husband would appreciate. (wink wink) I’m sure he will become more and more happy to help as the rewards start rolling in.
Your Kids Need You But They Also Need Dad
Now this one is for you mamas.
“But, I feel so guilty leaving them behind, They always get so upset.” Yes, your kids need your hugs, want you around, love you to death. They might start crying the second they notice you grab your shoes, but that is okay. Kids also need dad, even if they don’t realize it yet. Just like anything in life, the more something happens, the quicker it will become the norm and soon your kiddos will realize that they are just as safe and happy with daddy as they are with mommy.
I know what you are going to say next… “But I am still breastfeeding.” Well, I have the best answer for that. Have you tried the new NUK Simply Natural line? NUK has done amazing things for nursing moms with this new line and it will make leaving dad in charge of a nursing baby so much easier.
More About NUK Simply Natural
The new NUK Simply Natural bottle is specifically designed to be as close as possible to a mother’s breast. Unlike bottles of the past, the fast flow nipple of this NUK Simply Natural bottle is made with multiple holes to mimic the milk flow feeling of a mother’s breast. This nipple comes in three different flow rates, so you can decide what is best for your baby. In addition, the nipple has a vent in the side that allows for proper airflow and can help reduce the instances of colic, gas, and spitting up.
The NUK Simply Natural line also includes the new Freemie Collection Cups for hands free pumping that makes leaving behind breast milk for daddy to use, even easier. The hands free pumping accessory is compatible with the Madela, Ameda, and Phillips pumps, as well as, the Freemie manual pump. The Freemie Collection Cups were created to give moms a discreet way to pump so that pumping doesn’t have to interfere with their busy schedules.
I hope these few tips and tricks can help you to get dad more involved in the everyday life of parenthood. Remember that it is important to encourage and trust your husband when it comes to raising your children and overtime you will really see him flourish.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
This post is part of the YummyMummyClub.ca and NUK Canada Simply Natural #SimplyNatural sponsored program. I received compensation as a thank you for my participation. This post reflects my personal opinion about the information provided by the sponsors.